January 19, 2006

Our server was down for most of this week, which is why the site was unavailable. Everything should be back up now, so if you notice any problems, please let me know.

Normally I try to steer clear of really personal stuff on this site, but I'm so frustrated today that I just have to get this out. In early November I was diagnosed with postpartum depression and started taking medication. I've been busy trying to get my life under control for the last couple of months hence the toned down, sporadic blogging and the practically non-existent email replies. Up until the middle of December, things really seemed to be turning around. Then I started backsliding. While I'm nowhere near the low point I started at, my doctor is concerned enough about my regression that he increased my prescription today. ARGH! Why can't I beat this on my own?!


On to other news, the back of Charlotte's "Christmas" sweater is finished and I'm plugging away on the front.
I also finished another ruffle scarf.


This one is actually for me. When Michael saw how much I liked the first one, he went out and bought me the yarn to make another one for Christmas. Here is the information for this one.
Pattern Source: Caron Website
Yarn: 6 balls of plum Caron Bliss
Alterations: I started out with 150 chains instead of 100.

Posted by crsattic at 4:49 PM | 17 Comments


I'm sorry to hear that you've been having troubles. At least you have a caring husband and a doctor that's listening to you. Sometimes, as much as we hate to admit it, we just can't do these things on our own. Take care of yourself and remember you always have friends if you need to talk.

Your site looks good and your ruffles scarf looks great! It's a good thing that you have meds and that you know what you're dealing with. You'll make it through with a sweet husband like yours seems to be. I'll send good thoughts your way!

Would you expect to beat heart disease or breast cancer or parkinson's on your own? Depression is an illness just like they are, so don't beat yourself up with misplaced guilt. Thank god you were diagnosed with something that can be treated and which will eventually be gone, albiet never soon enough!
Be very kind to yourself and good luck. I had severe depression for several years, but somehow survived, with lots of help, and now life has never been better. Just don't ever give up hope!

Christina, I'm sorry to hear that you've been having a tough time with postpartum depression. And I think no one should expect you to handle it on your own. Ever. I am very glad your doctor is helping monitor it and that Mike is such a loving husband. I don't write or comment as often, but I do think of you frequently. Sending you warm hugs and good vibes. =)

please be kind to yourself and take care. what? your husband bought you yarn!what a honey!

I too had PPD and was on medication for it. That was after my last baby and sometimes I can feel it coming on again. Moving to a new town, where I know no one is not helping the problem!

If you ever need to talk you just drop me an email!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with getting help when you need it. Did you know that most people *like* helping other people? You will cope and you will get through this. And if a little pill helps with that, so be it. And stop beating yourself up over it. Let me know so I can beat you up (which I won't since I have my own ativan dependency going on here because of my anxiety).

Hope things improve for you. It might not be soon, but things do get better. Just look after yourself.

I am so glad that your site is back on track. I love reading about your knitting and seeing the things that you make your children. I also suffer from depression (and in the form of anxiety attacks as well) that does not help. I have had it since my 4 year old was born. I recovered after a year, then when stressed it came back again. I feel guilty taking medication, but remember this - depression is caused from the chemicals in our brain not working as they should, thus the medication helps to correct this and every single person takes their own amount of time to adjust whether it be months, years or even longer. Medication does help you feel stronger, and yes somedays are better than others, even on medication. If you ever need to talk to someone, just e-mail me.

Everyone has already said that you have no reason to feel you should be able to "beat this" on your own, and it's true! Whether it be emotional support from family/friends/blogland, or medication, or yarn *s*, who cares what it takes to help you feel better! Just be kind to yourself, remember you have people close to home and all around the world who DO care, and that if you ever need an ear or shoulder there are plenty available!

C, good luck beating this issue. I know it's frustrating not to be able to fix it on your own, but I am quite glad you're getting help. We all need it from time to time. My thoughts are with you.

C, I'm so sorry you're still having a difficult time. I took medication and I KNOW it helped me, but the other component of my "healing" was therapy. Seeing a therapist (first weekly, then every two weeks) helped me learn how to cope with the stress in my life. She helped arm me with tools that medication alone couldn't provide. I hate to sound like a broken record, but I swear by therapy. (Seeing a psychologist is one thing, but having a regular therapist is another. And cheaper!)

Christina hang in there with the PPD. Go easy on yourself and take things as they come. Everything takes time.

Christina - Best of luck to you in overcomming PPD. A lot of us have experienced it, and I am sure many of us should have probably gotten additional help and didn't. It is always assumed it is something you struggle through on your own. It's wonderful to see the great support system you have...within your own family and also your knit "family." Take care.

Finally made my way over here and sorry this is so belated. I truly hope you let go of the guilt of not being able to control the PPD. It's a lot more than telling yourself you are going to get better and you really can't free will your bodies chemical imbalances. Relax and try to let the medication do its job. I'm really wishing the best for a quick recovery. Hang in there and sending super big hugs!

Hang in there Christina, lots of us moms have been down that road too. The depression will lift, our hormones have a lot to answer for. Don't beat yourself about trying to handle it all without medication, if you need it take it!
Sending hugs
Jacinta x

sending you positive vibes across the atlantic. You take care now. Lovely to see you knitting something for yourself! It is a lovely scarf.

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